The ruler is located on the edge of your screen at the upper right in the Query Painter. It is switched on in the standard.
You can hide or re-display the ruler on demand by using the appropriate pushbutton.

To set list width, proceed as follows:

If you want to decrease list width so that it is smaller than the combined width of the fields on it, overhanging fields are inserted in a new line.
If you want to frame your list, select the checkbox List with frame.

Your list must be framed if you want to use field separation.